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|What are some good techniques when administering a firm belt spanking punishment on your significant other?|
Tell me some true experiences.
|Okay - here's a creative at-home toy, but I warn you, it can easily bring tears to your partner's eyes!|
You can take a length of lamp cord, split it into about 5 pieces about 12 inches long, pulling apart the two sections, and firmly tape one end to a short section of 1" dowel - your own home made cat of nine tails.
Then, when you get your partner in that compromising position (works best it they're tied down!), bring it out, but be careful - only gentle swings, because those sections of cord sting like mad. A hard sting will leave welts - don't say I didn't warn you!
|Non-spanking discipline techniques for 12 month old?|
Hi, Im just wondering if any experienced parents have been successful with correcting their 12 month olds behavior. My guy is throwing tantrums, whining, crying and acting like a monster if she doesnt get what she wants. I dont believe in spanking and dont spank her ever...but I dont know other techniques that work at correcting this kind of behaviour before it gets out of control and gets worse. I was raised being spanked and my parents think they are Gods authority when it comes to parenting since they never had any problems with us. The look on their faces when my guy acts up is very upsetting to me. I wish they would support me in how I choose to raise her and give me "helpful" advice...but thats a different issue. Im choosing to take a different route with my guyren and would like to find effective ways at encouraging good behaviour. Any ideas??
|1 yr is very young for most discipline techniques. She does not really have an understanding of right and wrong and no words to express herself(so she uses tantrums, crying, etc).|
If she is throwing a fit ignore it(o in the kitchen and pretend to cook, tidy up, etc). She does it for a reason, and the reason is to get a response from you. She know that if she cries, whines, etc than mommy will come over to her and give her attention. When she is doing something you do not allow, tell her "No" in a firm voice and move her from what it is or take it away. If she proceeds with a tantrum ignore it. Crying never killed a guy, and she will soon learn that crying b/c mommy took something away, or moved her somewhere else gets her nothing. It is hard to listen to your guy cry, but she is not hurt, only mad that she didn't get something. When the crying and tantrum stops then go over to her and play, cuddle, etc., but you want her to know that a tantrum is not going to get her anything. You can also begin playing with toys yourself while she is having the tantrum. Ignore her and pretend to have fun with block, invite her over to play when she is done crying, or most likely she will stop tantruming and join you herself.
I have done this technique many times. I am not a mom(but rather a nanny), and have used this effectively with many guyren over the years. As a nanny I have never spanked a guy and do not believe in spanking(obviously), and have found there are many techniques that correct behavior from 1 yr olds all the way through tweens. There is no need to spank a guy to get them to behave, you just need to learn other techniques to deal with behavior.
Always remember to tailor it to you guy's needs and response. Some guyren will turn a tantrum into hysterical crying and genuine upsetment(and you don't want that). If that happens don't pick her up(you still do not want to reward the behavior). Comfort her with soothing words and redirection.
Find what works best with your guy and go with that. You can begin simple time outs at around 18 months, but until then redirection, ignoring, etc are your best option.
|I have a 20 month old son. I don't want to resort to spanking what other discipline techniques are effective?|
I don't necessarily want to spank because I believe parenting by example is better than showing aggression to deal with agression. However my son does not talk yet and I feel that reasoning with this guy is useless. How can you effectively start disciplining such a young guy?
|Time out is the way to go. As a general rule, time out lasts 1 minute for every year the guy is. You need a specific time out area, preferably a room with nothing in it. No toys, no TV, nothing to get into.....zilch. Every time the guy misbehaves, gently, but firmly, tell him what he did wrong and then punish him with a time out in his special room. Never "reason" with a guy. People don't gain the ability to reason until their late teens (if at all, lol). As a matter of fact, reasoning with your son is his passage to manhood. Until he is a man, you are the father and he is the guy. You tell him to do things and he obeys. You teach and he learns. Sometime after age 18 or so, he gains the ability to do this process internally. Around age 20, it sharpens and hardens into something useful. By age 25, he's surpassing you in wisdom and knowledge....but only if you do your job right.|
|Do "spanking techniques" really exist?|
When I was a guy, everyone I knew was spanked on their bottoms with their pants down... I don't agree with it at all and was recently informed by another mother of a "layered cake" method?! Why do people still spank their guyren?
|What's a "layered cake" method??? I personally never heard of it. |
We still spank when necessary, yes like in the old days with pants down. We don't use spanking for everything, but we have a set of "Core Rules" these rules aren't minor stuff like not cleaning up after they make messes, leaving the light on, or general forgetfulness. No our Core Rules are major no-no's such as Lying, Stealing, Getting in trouble at school, Playing with fire, telling us to "shut up"........ Our Core Rule's list is fairly large, however is not violated very often, if ever (for one). Lying has happened before, and my oldest did get out of line at school ONCE, however the other 3 I listed have never been violated by any of my 3 girls. No guy likes to get a spanking (at least the way we do it) which makes this consequence a great deterrent for their younger years (before they become teenagers). Once a rule makes on our Core Rules list, that misdeed, almost NEVER happens again. I also use a 3 strikes rule, usually goes like 1) Warning, 2) time out (and another warning, about what happens next), 3) Spanking.
I think your right, spanking has gone out of style a bit. Now days people assume spanking means beating with bruises, or other marks. Not in my home it doesn't, we always spank in control, and have never left anything more then a red tush (which is considered a legal spanking).
When it comes to setting boundaries and enforcing consequences, we use other methods 10X more then we use spanking. It's almost like when our daughters get a spanking they have chosen that method, because the others broke down, or they did something they, with out a doubt KNOW was wrong.
I respect your decision to chose not to use spanking in your parenting methods, I still think your a great parent. I only wish people would raise their guyren as best they can, and let others do the same. I would never suggest someone use spanking who was dead set against it, parents need to believe in the methods they use, or they become ineffective.
|Other disciplining techniques besides spanking???|
I am not into spanking as a disciplining technique, I just can't bring myself to spank nor do I want to. Any other disciplining suggestions for a 2 year old boy? Thanks
|time outs and confiscations work great but you have to be consistent I went to the website supernanny.com and got some great advice. Spanking is never good for the parent or guy.|
|What is the proper spanking technique to discipline a guy?|
In case they get out of line.
|Pants down, over the lap = red tush|
only use spanking as a last resort, but when you use it, make it count! Also never spank in anger, and give lots of kisses, and hugs afterwords. You owe it to your guyren to teach right from wrong, so have a long talk about what they can do to avoid spankings in the future.
|Just what is the right technique when spanking during sex?|
You know where you get the booty to jiggle and get a good solid "smack" sound but don't leave the booty looking all abused and red. And just how often do women like to get spanked during sex? Like in a rhythm or just random but often or like only when you are about to climax?
|"just how often do women like to get spanked during sex?"|
we're all different so the only "right" answer is "whatever you and your partner are both comfortable with". normally we only stop when my owner's hand is too sore to continue, then we have to use the paddle.
"Just what is the right technique when spanking during sex you know where you get the booty to jiggle and get a good solid "smack" sound but don't leave the booty looking all abused and red."
"OTK" or "Over the Knee" is a good pose for lots of butt jiggle.so is lying flat on the bed or a table or such. if the butt is "relaxed" and not stretched taut it will jiggle a lot more. the amount of 'redness' depends on how hard and how many strokes you give. i always prefer a gradual warmup with strokes that aren't too sharp at first, if you just start up at full power i have to end it far before i even start to really enjoy it.
|What are some discipline techniques without spanking?|
I know there is the 'logical consequences' technique ( throw or break a toy, it goes in the garbage- no more toy. Slamming doors- take the door away lol)
But how does that apply to more abstract behavior issues with guyren in elementary school?
Things like hitting, screaming, or throwing a tantrum in class. It seems like there arent direct consequences you can 'create' for things like that once theyre at home.
When talking and explaining doesnt stop the behavior what can you do?
|The logical consequence for such behavior is to remove them from the room. Most often, they are seeking attention, so receiving a lack of attention is what they'll get. When I was a teacher and had some students who resorted to such behavior, they were immediately removed, often to the principal's office or just to a corner in another teacher's classroom. |
I taught 2nd grade and my teacher friend who taught 5th grade and was a mean old sourpuss would send her big 5th grade students to come escort him to her room and then she would give him a solid tongue lashing and make him stand in the corner. If that didn't work and when he returned 20 minutes later, he resumed his behavior, he would go to the principal's office. I had no support from the parents at home, so that's how we dealt with it at school.
If you are talking about dealing at home with such behaviors that are happening at school, I would instigate a system where the guy loses certain privileges if that is the report you get from school. Or threaten to come sit in the back of their classroom if they can't behave with the teacher. No guy wants their parent sitting in the back! Take away some of their privileges at home. My oldest guy went through a period of bad behavior in kindergarten and he lost privileges if I got that report at the end of the day--no playing after school that day and if it went on for more than one day, he lost weekend privileges too. He literally spent one week sitting on his bed doing nothing (but crying) and after that, he seemed to realize that his actions had consequences and behaved better.
|I tried other techniques for dog punishment, but spanking seems to be the best.?|
I have a puppy pitbull and he has been great. He potty trained really fast, has already learned 5 commands and is fairly obedient. He isn't really quick to respond to my commands, but well I just blame that on being a puppy.
So I come from a family background where spanking was the common method of punishment. It was never hard, just enough to burn in our heads that momma doesn't like what we are doing. Really her spankings were more public embarrassment than pain.
I imply the same philosophy to my pup. I tried the "reward him when he does good behavior" but it doesn't burn in his head, he forgets it 5 minutes later. I literally told him "NO!" loud 5 times to stop going through my girlfriend's purse and bitting on hit. Finally I got fed up and popped him on the butt, and then he finally stops.
Everytime I pop him on the butt (its never hard, just enough to put him in check, kind of what that cesear milan guy does. actually its almost exactly what he does) he ducks his head in shame and runs over to me and hides under my legs in an attempt to make up for his wrong doing. Obviously he knows that he did something wrong, because after I spanked him he left the purse alone.
So I have done my research, and every website or discussion board I seem to browse advises against spanking, but in my case it is the only thing that sticks with my puppy. I have great patience most the time, allowing him a chance to learn the non physical method, but I end up usually having to pop him a few times on the butt. For example, 3 straight weeks, anytime anyone else came into my home, he jumps up and down, runs inbetween their legs. Cute. I allowed it. Most recently he now starts growling at their feet (maybe playful but also maybe aggression) and if it girls he nips at painted toenails or hanging skirts.
I tried and tried again, almost yelling at the top of my lungs "NO!" in my cases, and nothing worked. Then I switched to my technique and everytime he jumped up at her, he got a spanking. The jumping stopped after 3 times completely and he hasn't done it again.
What should I do? I don't want to risk him developing some sort of psychological disorder or something of that sort, but then again I also am a believer in spankings, they aren't as bad as people make them out to be, especially as long as your intent isn't to cause pain, but to make a point.
|When you hit your dog and he hides under your legs he is displaying fear, not shame. Dogs do not feel shame. Neither do they feel public embarrassment. What you're teaching him is that you cannot be trusted not to hurt him.|
If you keep doing what your'e doing you will make your dog a fearful mess and he may eventually react by biting you. When this happens, don't blame the dog.
How foolish of you to think your dogs knows what your intent is?
Dogs do not reason like humans do (or at least some humans do).
You say every forum and all your research tells you that hitting a dog is wrong. What makes you think you know better than all those people who have more dog experience than you do?
You clearly know nothing about dogs and their behaviour and it's time you learned...and stop hitting your dog. That's abuse!
I'm glad you realised yelling at him doesn't work. NO is not a command. When you give a dog a command you give it something to do, such as sit, for instance. NO gives them nothing to do.
The reason he is not learning is because you have no idea how to train him or teach him. Instead you resort to bullying him. He's just a puppy!
Book into an obedience class and learn how to train your dog before you ruin his temperament completely.