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All Comments

Am i traumatized??????
I only go outside to stock up on living materials and i go at night to the 24/7 stores.

I avoid girls because i have never really had anything come from them. As a guy most annoyed me, except a few. As a young teen i got into a lot of drama. 16+ i got acne + hyper-pigmentation on an acne scar below my eye. Girls i didn't even know would ridicule me. Girls would check me out but ridicule me when they saw the scar. It's even how girls knew me by. They would look... then say something like "is that the boy with the big spot on his face".

I thought if i can find a girl with this then i will know it's for real. 3 years later and no luck but constant rejection and being treated like a disease. So then i got it removed. Some girls look at me or try speak to me but i can't help but think they would be ridiculing me if i had the scar. So i don't talk to women that aren't in my family.

Growing up i was bothered by the police as some black males do. I got stopped a lot because of the way i dressed or colour of my skin. One time i was jogging home from the bus stop after talking to my Asian friend and police in a van started chasing me. I dropped my bus pass in the alley and went to pick it up and an officer pounced on me.

The officer took me to the van and said where did your friend go. They drove up the road and saw a black guy a few years older than me and one said there's his friend. I giggled and said are you sure he was even black. The officer replied.. "Stop trying to protect your friend". The guy was just walking up the road and 2 police jumped on him. After they were searching me. I said i don't even know what this is about. The officer started calling me a drugy. He said where are the drugs then. He even started sniffing my shoe. I said "do you like the smell of that?" He slapped me and said "show some Respect". I said "Why should i respect you, you just tackled me to the floor and put me in handcuffs. Then you accused me of being a drug user." He went quiet and had an angry look on his face. He then just said get him out of here. He probably threw it in the alley. I asked for a stop form but they just threw me out of the van and started yelling abuse. They drove off.

Other times i've been arrested for robbery when i did nothing. I am on there system for 2 arrests that are all non further action. Though every time i was arrested on "suspicion" of something. Every time police stop me they see arrested for robbery, oh better watch out for him. When i never robbed anyway. I got arrested with like 7 people that day and none of us did a thing.

The police have arrested me out of spite and said they will strip search me. Once two have gambled on whether i have large genitalia or not. They take my dna, finger prints, pictures. They look at my account info and see what i've bought. I have little privacy.

I don't feel comfortable in society knowing that i really am not free. I can be violated on someone's whim, whether it's an officer, judge, or whatever. I am more worried when i see police drive by then when i see a group of teenagers with guns. I feel like i don't even like humans because they can treat people so badly.

I mean girls treat me better now but the scar is gone, i have a degree and a bit of money. I feel like they would be cruel if i was in the same shoes as before. The police too don't seem to bother me as much. I got arrested and i told them my title then they were like oh we need to get you out of here. Why do people treat you better just because of these things when you're still the same person.

I feel like i can't face the world. The system is basically " build success of exploitation of others". exploited slaves built up Americas economy. Everything needs to be efficient, cheapest. People are seen as commodities now. People like to take dumps on others and feel they're superior to others.

One woman spoke to me and said she wants a man on her level. She worked in a law firm. I said what does on your level mean?. You think some men are on a level below you and that you're better than them? She said no, not like that.... Yet that was exactly what she meant.

This is a cruel world.
Am i traumatized??????
I only go outside to stock up on living materials and i go at night to the 24/7 stores.

I avoid girls because i have never really had anything come from them. As a guy most annoyed me, except a few. As a young teen i got into a lot of drama. 16+ i got acne + hyper-pigmentation on an acne scar below my eye. Girls i didn't even know would ridicule me. Girls would check me out but ridicule me when they saw the scar. It's even how girls knew me by. They would look... then say something like "is that the boy with the big spot on his face".

I thought if i can find a girl with this then i will know it's for real. 3 years later and no luck but constant rejection and being treated like a disease. So then i got it removed. Some girls look at me or try speak to me but i can't help but think they would be ridiculing me if i had the scar. So i don't talk to women that aren't in my family.

Growing up i was bothered by the police as some black males do. I got stopped a lot because of the way i dressed or colour of my skin. One time i was jogging home from the bus stop after talking to my Asian friend and police in a van started chasing me. I dropped my bus pass in the alley and went to pick it up and an officer pounced on me.

The officer took me to the van and said where did your friend go. They drove up the road and saw a black guy a few years older than me and one said there's his friend. I giggled and said are you sure he was even black. The officer replied.. "Stop trying to protect your friend". The guy was just walking up the road and 2 police jumped on him. After they were searching me. I said i don't even know what this is about. The officer started calling me a drugy. He said where are the drugs then. He even started sniffing my shoe. I said "do you like the smell of that?" He slapped me and said "show some Respect". I said "Why should i respect you, you just tackled me to the floor and put me in handcuffs. Then you accused me of being a drug user." He went quiet and had an angry look on his face. He then just said get him out of here. He probably threw it in the alley. I asked for a stop form but they just threw me out of the van and started yelling abuse. They drove off.

Other times i've been arrested for robbery when i did nothing. I am on there system for 2 arrests that are all non further action. Though every time i was arrested on "suspicion" of something. Every time police stop me they see arrested for robbery, oh better watch out for him. When i never robbed anyway. I got arrested with like 7 people that day and none of us did a thing.

The police have arrested me out of spite and said they will strip search me. Once two have gambled on whether i have large genitalia or not. They take my dna, finger prints, pictures. They look at my account info and see what i've bought. I have little privacy.

I don't feel comfortable in society knowing that i really am not free. I can be violated on someone's whim, whether it's an officer, judge, or whatever. I am more worried when i see police drive by then when i see a group of teenagers with guns. I feel like i don't even like humans because they can treat people so badly.

I mean girls treat me better now but the scar is gone, i have a degree and a bit of money. I feel like they would be cruel if i was in the same shoes as before. The police too don't seem to bother me as much. I got arrested and i told them my title then they were like oh we need to get you out of here. Why do people treat you better just because of these things when you're still the same person.

I feel like i can't face the world. The system is basically " build success of exploitation of others". exploited slaves built up Americas economy. Everything needs to be efficient, cheapest. People are seen as commodities now. People like to take dumps on others and feel they're superior to others.

One woman spoke to me and said she wants a man on her level. She worked in a law firm. I said what does on your level mean?. You think some men are on a level below you and that you're better than them? She said no, not like that.... Yet that was exactly what she meant.

This is a cruel world.
I'm not sure how to answer and I know this is no help to you, but you've definatley been through he'll and I apologize. I pray you find happiness soon. Good luck

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